BY MICHAEL GIEGERICH
For those who have logged onto a computer within the past few days, the escalating beef between Meek Mill and Drake is likely not breaking news. Meek’s accusations of Drake employing ghostwriters set off a firestorm that went from bad to worse over a sprawling series of tweets, and as of now, it’s only spreading as other rappers attempt to insert their two cents. No one can truly confirm whether or not an individual in the shadows penned lyrics for the head of OVO, but fortunately, there are certain lines only Drake could have crafted. In order to help figure out where those lyrics reside, we’ve compiled 10 tracks that definitely came from the mind of Canada’s finest.
“So you cry still, tears all on the pillowcase/Big girls all get a little taste”
We can easily imagine Drake getting a big taste of his tears as he switched between looking at Facebook pictures of his girl and penning these lines. It’s soft Drizzy at his finest, otherwise known as the authentic personality that made him such an enigma in the first place (and eventually resulted in this gem).
“I got bitches askin’ me about the code for the Wi-Fi/So they can talk about they timeline/And show me pictures of they friends/Just to tell me they ain’t really friends”
If there’s a more Drake-esque problem to have, please let us know, because this has to be the peak. Between Wi-Fi codes and calling in an Uber, his woes are uniquely those of a millennial superstar-rapper. One can’t help but see this being an honest depiction of Drake’s life behind the curtains.
“Last name ever, first name greatest/Like a sprained ankle boy, I ain’t nothin’ to play with”
Yes, it’s low-hanging fruit, but it has to be said there’s little doubt Drake kept it solo for this line. It feels less like a major artist’s smash single and more like a middle school student’s blacktop freestyle. If he needed a ghostwriter here, then may god help us all.
“I been Steph Curry with the shot/Been cookin’ with sauce, Chef Curry with the pot boy/360 with the wrist, boy”
Let’s be real: only Drake could turn the precision shooting of Curry that single-handedly massacred other NBA teams last season into one of the corniest rap punch-lines in recent memory. It’s a genuine look at attempting brash bravado through the lens of mainstream rap’s golden boy.
Best I Ever Had
“My shirt ain’t got no stripes, but I can make your pussy whistle/Like the Andy Griffith theme song”
This line caused so much discomfort in our lives after hearing it initially. Claiming to “make your pussy whistle” is one thing, but comparing it to a sterile ‘50s icon is outright baffling. Realistically, though, it makes sense a seasoned Degrassi actor would be the one to draw a parallel between sexual pleasure and the Andy Griffith show.