Killer Mike and El-P Unveil Ridiculously Expensive Pre-Order Packages

BY TER STAFF

Killer Mike and El-P are once again teaming up to release a sequel to 2013’s Run the Jewels entitled, you guessed it, Run the Jewels 2. Instead of the usual pre-order special edition however, typically consisting of items like stickers, a t-shirt, or some collectible, the duo have opted for 22 increasingly ludicrous packages.

Ranging from $0 to $10,000,000, the packages offer services only the true Run the Jewels fan could dream of. Some personal favorites:

  • The ‘I’m on the fucking list, asshole’ Package – Basically a backstage pass to 10 shows with full access to the deli tray and all the group’s marijuana. ($7,500)
  • The Show and Tell Package – RTJ will attend your child’s show and tell presentation and “answer any questions the children have about marijuana, rap music and global politics.” ($25,000)
  • The Fuck Boy Revenge Package – The group will fly to your town and stalk/humiliate your rival, as well as train his pet to love you and hate him. (Note: This package does not include murder). ($100,000)
  • The Run the Jewels Retirement Package – They will retire from music and only make songs personally for the buyer, who will take over exclusive publishing rights. ($10,000,000)

Before dropping this kind of money, its important to read the fine print:

 *run the jewels reserves the right to take your money and not fulfill any of its obligations as outlined in any package priced at 35k or more.

Despite this caveat, El-P has promised that the Kickstarter for the Meow the Jewels package, in which the two will completely rebuild their new album exclusively with cat sounds, will be honored if it reaches the $40,000 goal. Donate below:

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